(no subject)
Oct. 26th, 2021 01:31 pmschool
it's going okay. i'm having such a hard time focusing on assignments, though. it sucks because i'm taking a cataloging course this semester which i've always been really excited about. i'm having fun learning about MARC records and classification systems and this really is my nerdy wheelhouse, i just. ugh. would much rather sleep than work right now. on one hand, i'm sure if i ha taken different classes this semester i'd be even further behind because i wouldn't care as much about the content, but also i wish i was taking this class during a happier time. i've always loved cataloging and am really fascinated by the systems we use to organize and categorize things, what information we deem relevant to put in a catalog record, etc.
my other class is okay. like, i'm not super intersted in digital learning environments, at least, not in the way this class is teaching it. i'm fairly savvy with tech and a fast learner when i need to work with programs or devices i'm new to, so it mostly feels like useless knowledge i'm being forced to pump out assignments on. not a fan. i'm very bored with it.
family
god i cannot get over how fast b is growing. i know all parents say that, it's such a cliche, kids grow fast!! but he's just turning into such a person with his own personality and sense of humor. he's learning numbers and letters and how to sound out small words and do very basic math on his fingers. he's starting to grasp the concept of time and understands minutes and days and asks every morning what day of the week it is. he's building friendships at school and loves seeing his classmates outside of the classroom.
i took him to the playground on saturday and he saw one of his classmates at the top of a slide. he yelled hello to him and his friend yelled hello back and then b ran and held his arms open at the bottom of the slide to catch his friend when he came out. it was one of the most precious and lovely things i have ever witnessed and like. that's my kid!!!!!! my kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
god i miss him.
his emotional development never ceases to amaze me. he's so good at naming his emotions and knowing how to take the time to understand them. even before he could talk much he did this thing where if he was upset about something he would go sit somewhere by himself and you could just see on his face that he was taking the time to figure out what he was feeling and why he felt that way. he still does that to this day, and he has words now to express when he needs to be alone and sit with his feelings and explain how he feels once he's thought it all through.
hell, i can't even do that most of the time.
he's just so weird and wonderful and so often i can't believe he's mine.
work
i always want to be in charge of everything when i'm working in the library. please put me in charge of everything. i will be in charge of everything someday but i want to be in charge of everything right now. it's less to do with "i think i could do this better than it's being done" and more of a "i don't like being told what to do" vibe but also. i will do a really fucking good job when i'm in charge.
it does kind of sting looking over the personnel updates and seeing promotions i would have gotten given to other people but like, i chose to leave after having b and i chose to just come back part-time for now and i really really cannot handle a full-time job. i'm just remembering how much i loved being a part of the larger culture of the library system in ways i can't be anymore. that time has passed and i won't go back. i'm glad i'm here again for now. a little goodbye to the place and people i love before i set off on a different adventure.
i'm so antsy to start that adventure.
it's going okay. i'm having such a hard time focusing on assignments, though. it sucks because i'm taking a cataloging course this semester which i've always been really excited about. i'm having fun learning about MARC records and classification systems and this really is my nerdy wheelhouse, i just. ugh. would much rather sleep than work right now. on one hand, i'm sure if i ha taken different classes this semester i'd be even further behind because i wouldn't care as much about the content, but also i wish i was taking this class during a happier time. i've always loved cataloging and am really fascinated by the systems we use to organize and categorize things, what information we deem relevant to put in a catalog record, etc.
my other class is okay. like, i'm not super intersted in digital learning environments, at least, not in the way this class is teaching it. i'm fairly savvy with tech and a fast learner when i need to work with programs or devices i'm new to, so it mostly feels like useless knowledge i'm being forced to pump out assignments on. not a fan. i'm very bored with it.
family
god i cannot get over how fast b is growing. i know all parents say that, it's such a cliche, kids grow fast!! but he's just turning into such a person with his own personality and sense of humor. he's learning numbers and letters and how to sound out small words and do very basic math on his fingers. he's starting to grasp the concept of time and understands minutes and days and asks every morning what day of the week it is. he's building friendships at school and loves seeing his classmates outside of the classroom.
i took him to the playground on saturday and he saw one of his classmates at the top of a slide. he yelled hello to him and his friend yelled hello back and then b ran and held his arms open at the bottom of the slide to catch his friend when he came out. it was one of the most precious and lovely things i have ever witnessed and like. that's my kid!!!!!! my kid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
god i miss him.
his emotional development never ceases to amaze me. he's so good at naming his emotions and knowing how to take the time to understand them. even before he could talk much he did this thing where if he was upset about something he would go sit somewhere by himself and you could just see on his face that he was taking the time to figure out what he was feeling and why he felt that way. he still does that to this day, and he has words now to express when he needs to be alone and sit with his feelings and explain how he feels once he's thought it all through.
hell, i can't even do that most of the time.
he's just so weird and wonderful and so often i can't believe he's mine.
work
i always want to be in charge of everything when i'm working in the library. please put me in charge of everything. i will be in charge of everything someday but i want to be in charge of everything right now. it's less to do with "i think i could do this better than it's being done" and more of a "i don't like being told what to do" vibe but also. i will do a really fucking good job when i'm in charge.
it does kind of sting looking over the personnel updates and seeing promotions i would have gotten given to other people but like, i chose to leave after having b and i chose to just come back part-time for now and i really really cannot handle a full-time job. i'm just remembering how much i loved being a part of the larger culture of the library system in ways i can't be anymore. that time has passed and i won't go back. i'm glad i'm here again for now. a little goodbye to the place and people i love before i set off on a different adventure.
i'm so antsy to start that adventure.