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next week is finals week and i spent most of the day studying and rewarding myself with an episode of the handmaid's tale for every two hours i worked. i loved the three episodes that are out and can't wait for the rest of them. it's really well and beautifully done and there were so many moments that gave me chills, both from terror and from beauty.

i love that juxtaposition of beauty and terror and how it could mean either that even beautiful things can be horrible or that even horrible things can have some beauty in them.

it reminded me a lot of being in college -- not that women were forced surrogates -- but living in an atmosphere were you always have to keep your feelings and opinions to yourself and you never know who you can trust with your secrets that shouldn't be secrets in the first place. i was lucky in that i found people very early in my time there who i could be my angry feminist dyke self around and was able to live with them sophomore and junior year, but it was still so hard to sit through chapel and classes and remember that conversations we could have in the dorm we couldn't have outside.

funnily enough, we read the handmaid's tale in my women's lit class. 80% of the class did their final papers on it, most of them comparing/contrasting it with persepolis.

it's so weird thinking about harding. how my years there were some of the worst i've had and how depressed and scared i was the whole time i was there. but also knowing that if i had gone somewhere else, i wouldn't have many of the friends today, probably wouldn't have moved to atlanta and therefore wouldn't have met britt. so like, i get angry thinking about how depressed i was and how much i hated being there, but also i'm so in love with my wife and the life we have built for ourselves and am so grateful for ending up here as the result of going through all of that.

silver linings.

however, this month has been so stressful and i haven't been to the gym but twice and my whole body is so tense and hurts so much and i've been so tired. but school will all be over by tuesday and i'm not taking classes this summer and we're going to disney at the end of may and to the beach in july.

i made it through harding, i can make it through the next five days. :)
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spanish is kicking my ass and i'm really worried that i'm not taking the next class until fall. that's all summer to forget what i'm barely able to remember right now. last semester was pretty easy, but i just can't hold anything from this semester in my brain.

i feel like overall i've gotten too lazy with school recently. i'm doing well, but not actually putting much effort in? i've fallen into the whole cramming last minute and relying on the fact that most of my tests are open book/note. i've been watching too much tv in the evenings and not utilizing my off time at work the way i did last semester and at the beginning of this semester.

i mean. it's finals week, so i can't exactly change my habits now, but hey.

next semester i'm taking intermediate spanish 1, sociology of the family, a 1 hr walking course, and an interdisciplinary course on islam. the islam course is good timing, since i'm planning on reading a lot about jewish and christian theologies this summer and hopefully the islam course will kind of just pick up where i leave off. at least, judging from the textbooks it's going to be in the same vein.

i am so very tired. i mean, i babysat until 1am, but also slept until 10am, so i feel like i shouldn't still be this tired, but god, i am. it's 7:30, and i want to go get in bed right now.

dinner with new friends the other night was really lovely! they're my favorite kind of moms -- just really chill not too overprotective about their kids. i guess having twins kind of makes you HAVE to be chill and just go with the flow of whatever happens. but they were great and we had so much fun with them and the babies were great and also really liked us. i'm really happy that we're finally being able to really get to know them.

i wanted to go to meeting this morning, like, was really looking forward to it, but, as mentioned above, slept too late. we've both been skipping meeting so much recently, and i don't like it, but also we're both just really stressed about a million things and having quiet and alone sunday mornings is nice. (emphasis on the alone, since quaker meeting is an hour of silence anyway.)

so yeah. this morning we missed meeting, but we went downtown and had brunch at a french place we've passed by a lot but never stopped in. it was really charming and they had really good coffee, and the food was really good. they had a bunch of vintage french posters for sale, and i loved this one and i really wanted to buy it, but it was raining and we didn't have an umbrella, so i knew it would get ruined the second we stepped outside. i might have to go back for it. we have the perfect place for it in our kitchen. :)

afterwards we went to the children's bookstore around the corner that we love too much and i found the book of mistakes which made me cry a little at the end. i think when we have a baby we're just going to register there and nowhere else. just buy us lots and lots of picture books.

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liveonthesun

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